The ragdoll shrugs and points to the other knight.
"Well he's made of wood, how do you think he feels? And we don't have a king. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, whatever that means. At any rate, let the jousting, BEGIN!"
The wooden knight suddenly begins moving forward, doing the best impersonation of a gallop as can be done on two legs with a stick between them, and levels his lance at Grayell.
Grayell 'galloped' forward, feeling entirely stupid for having to play this charade. He was certain that if he didn't comply though, he'd be hit with a spinning death top or explosive jack-in-the-box.
Haunted my ass. Something was behind this.
Without moving too swiftly, Graihl approached the night, his eyes on his opponents lance - and at the last second, yanked the 'horse' from between his legs to parry and thrust his own lance forward, intent on ending this quickly.
Grayell's lance pierces deep into the wooden knight's chest, and snaps off. The knight falls to the ground, but then rises, with the pink lance still in his chest, and makes his way to the starting position again, where he retrieves a new 'horse'. He then calls over to Grayell.
"'Tis but a scratch!"
The rag doll squire comes back up to Grayell with another pink lance and offers it to him.
"Get to the starting postion, Sire. The knight is ready for another go."
Grayell shrugs and again, 'climbs onto his steed' which feels about as dignified as getting a prostate exam. Pink lance in hand, he again prepares for 'combat'.
You know, this carries on much longer; I am going to just set fire to you lot. You and the giant bear would go up nicely.
Grayell again 'charges' toward the night. This time he relies upon his PINK lance (that sounds suggestive) to parry the blow and aims this time for his opponent's head.
The whole thing look entirely absurd, jousting with a stick-made man at the behest of a rag doll but again, it seemed this was his only course of action. That first door had locked him in most likely, and falling down the bear hole wasn't going to make a retreat that feasible.
Nope, kill the stick man and get on with it.
But Grayell most certainly wasn't buying this place being haunted anymore. Nope, this was some sick, magic using jackasses form of amusement; and Grayell was really starting to wonder about Billy's role in all of this.
Grayell's lance flies a bit off-target, and instead of hitting the knight's head, it sinks into his collarbone and knocks him to the ground. When the dust settled, Grayell could see that the knight was, in fact, pinned to the ground.
While the knight struggled to get up, the door to exit slowly opens.
"Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!"
Grayell discards the horse and lance in a manner that illustrates his torn to shreds patience and with one hand resting on his sword handle, heads for the door.
Deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. One very foolish, very dead rabbit's hole.
Grayell finds that behind the door was a stairway leading up. Exiting at the top of the stairs, he finds himself in a small room. There is a a glowing, floating figure of a man, and in front of him a small child who appears to be talking. The ghost turns to Grayell, and it looks like he has tears in his eyes.
"Oh thank GOD you're here!!! Take this child away! Please, I beg of you! I can't stand it any more!!!"
The child seems to be oblivious to the ghost's yelling and continues on.
"WHY DID YOU GO MR. SIMMONS? YOU WERE THE BEST CARETAKER. I CAME INTO THE OLD DAYCARE TO FIND YOU. WHY MR. SIMMONS, WHY? CAN WE PLAY SOME MORE? YOU PROMISED YOU'D LET ME PLAY WITH YOUR COOL TOYS AND THAT MAN!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY KITTIES? I LOVE KITTIES! SOMETIMES I PRETEND HUMANS ARE KITTIES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH"
The ghost then flies over to Grayell and clings to him.
"Please! Rescue me from this boy! I can't take it any more! Him and his mother both are the most annoying people ever! I killed myself because I couldn't stand the whining of the children, AND THEN ONE OF THEM COMES BACK!!!"
Graihl takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes. He hadn't been raised without superstition and folk lore and had spent too many shared nights around a campfire to be entirely ignorant. He didn't understand magic but certainly had a few thoughts on this particular set of happenings.
Slow down. Lemme guess. You offed yourself, now you're stuck haunting this hole. Billy here is some form of magic savant who should be in bed by now but instead insists on making my life miserable on this particular day.
Billy, your Mother is outside, worried sick about you and asked me to come find you. If we don't leave now she's going to be very cross.
Billy continues to yap, unaware of Grayell's presence
"THIS WAS FUN! I LIKE PLAYING WITH YOU! I WON'T TO KEEP COMING BACK AND PLAYING FOREVER AND EVER!"
The ghost continues to hold onto Grayell
"No, no, no! This is my house, and that was all my stuff you broke. But It's only there to keep kids out! I wouldn't have sick them on you, if this little blighter didn't promise me he'd leave if we 'played' with you. Please! Just get him out of here! I'll pay you!"
Well that made a difference. Grayell's ear pricked at the mention of payment and he turned to face his ghostly ummmm, hugger.
Alright then. Here's the deal. You tell me the easiest, quickest way out of this hell hole. No more surprises. You then help me escort the little bugger out under the pretense of playing more or something. I don't wanna rough the kid up.
We get him out of your hair, returned to his mother and for crap's sake; do something BETTER about keeping him out. That or you move on.
You pay me when he's gone - or he'll be back. With friends. And your pay better compensate me for the crap you put me through and for tearing up my damn clothes.
At the mention of him coming back with friend, the ghost flies away from Grayell and over to Billy
"This man is going to take you to go play! I've got things to do, but he's a very nice man! Now go!"
He then waves at a door, and then at a painting near Grayell. The door flies open, and the painting flies off the wall, revealing an open safe behind it.
"There! There's 40 gold in that safe, it's all the money I have! Take a right out that door, and you'll see the exit. Now, for the love of god, TAKE HIM AWAY!!!"
Billy waddles over to Grayell and looks up at him
"HI THERE, YOU LOOK LIKE A NICE MAN! ARE WE GONNA GO PLAY? I LIKE PLAYING! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU AREN'T VERY GOOD AT PLAYING! I NEVER GET BEAT UP WHEN I PLAY!"
Billy begins to follow Grayell, tottering along at a slow pace
"MY MOTHER? I LIKE MY MOTHER! ME AND HER PLAY ALL THE TIME! BUT I DON'T USUALLY GET TO PLAY GAMES AS FUN AS WHAT WE PLAYED! CAN WE PLAY SOME FIRST BEFORE YOU TAKE ME BACK?"