Post by Grayell on Sept 5, 2011 1:41:10 GMT -5
Grayell was battling the cold, as fierce as it was. He knew he hadn't prepared, he'd spent the better part of his day fixing her shelter. Something he would have to remedy tomorrow. His armor gave little protection against the bitter wind that drifted down the gully and he huddled closer to the tiny wall he had built to trap what heat he could from the fire. He knew he would not sleep well if at all, and kept the fire hot. But none of that mattered. It was a minor distraction to his troubled mind.
Liseth returning had confused things in his head and he was completely at odds with himself. Part of him wanted to throttle Liseth, yell at her and force her to apologize for breaking his heart, make her love him. He knew she did in her own strange way, but he was well aware it was a misguided love between them, one that could not end well. He wished all the change in the world for her, he hoped that she would see the world as a simpler and more beautiful place. He knew that if she could have just that, to find happiness within herself, then it would be more than enough if he was not a part of her life. He could not give her happiness whilst she was determined to kill Verick. She would not take it should he offer it. It saddened him, he remembered who she was and how pure a heart she had. He did not, could not know, but he hoped that she still had it inside her. That she too would grow and learn to be at peace.
And whilst he still cared for Liseth, whilst part of him would die for her without so much as a touch.... the newer part of him thought of Serenity. She was a lady unlike any other. A proper lady, one that should typically turn her nose at him and dismiss him as simple, but somehow she was worldly. She was learned and kind, intelligent and charming, and passionate... but also withdrawn. He had met what James had become, a cruel irony in his own world and a terrible curse upon hers - and with his own past with Liseth, it gave him perspective. He knew without doubt that she loved James still and that her heart would ache for what was taken from her. Given the chance he would soothe her wounds, dry her tears and guard her from the cruelness of reality, but he knew that she would not let him. Serenity sparked something within Grayell, made him want to be a better man, a kinder man, more gentile and noble. He would stand before against the world without question and where she to ever need him, he would give himself wholly without qualm. But he also knew, that with his own past coming back to him that he could not, would not be the man for her. He had to give himself entirely, without doubt or confusion - so whilst his heart beat to the thought of her, he could not betray her or himself and take that step, make that move whilst he still felt for another. It was not right and was less than Serenity deserved. He wanted her friendship and had told her as much and whilst they hadn't conveyed their emotions directly to one another, he wanted to. He could not though - because to utter the words that stopped short of headstrong love would wound him. Regardless of his pride and his sense of honor, he still wanted her to be his, to hear her ask that of him. He knew it was foolish.
The mind will wonder as it does and Grayell came to ponder who would choose should he be asked to. Both women, asking him to be wholly faithful, to dedicate himself to them alone.... and he hadn't the answer. He cursed Liseth's re-emergence, but doing so hurt him. He had wondered too long if she were ok, if she were well. What he had now learned came with a cost though - she was beautiful and fierce, as proud as ever... but vengeful.
He wanted to change. He had worked at it, labored to be a different person and to get away from his past. Ever hunted, it was not an easy thing to do - but meeting Serenity cast a light on his lonely soul that gave him hope. How he wanted her to speak such sweet words, how he ached to have her touch him as she had done so innocently, in jest... he wanted meaning. Affection.
He laughed, quietly and to himself. His body was shivering, lips quivering in the cold. He shook his head and sniffed, disregarded his sentimental ways. With so much confusion, he knew the only answer was to remain alone. He would be a true friend to Serenity but could not pursue more unless she asked it of him. Likewise, he would try to support Liseth and hope to see her give up on her hopeless quest. He would remain alone. He laughed again, hand rubbing his running nose as his mind drifted back to drunken nights spent at the tavern with loose women and no thought of consequence. My how times had changed.
It had been some time and he hoped Serenity slept well. He was dangerously cold now, but she should be warm in the small hut. He would have done far better to have his cloak... but battling the cold seemed unimportant when weighed against his concern for her well being.
And then her song began.
At first he smiled, surprised that she might sing herself to sleep; but as the wind brought the words to him, something else entirely came over him. Grayell sat up, dragged himself a little closer to the fire and looked to the stars. As it continued, it filled his head with imagery, of tales told for generations, of the beauty and hardships of his ancestors. It held him wide eyed, his hair blowing in the breeze, his body motionless as if entranced.
It was as though the stars themselves danced, spun in synchronicity with the song, the clouds drifting by as if signalling the next magical part of the song. Fond memories of his childhood floated before his eyes, hunting with his father, playing with his siblings and finally, of his mother. She would lay beside him, a hand errantly stroking hair from his face with a touch that brought him calm. His heart welled with love, he wished he could sleep so soundly, feel his mothers warm arms about him. Her kiss at his cheek, the entire, overwhelming peace that he would feel with her beside him.
He smiled as he recalled thoughts so long buried, but tears welled in his eyes and stained his cheeks. He sat, quietly crying; only hoping that one day when he died, perhaps one day soon; he would once again tell his mother he loved her.
As the song dwindled and began to die, the stars showed him one last dream. His wife stood there, his two children. A gentle breeze washed over them and a beautiful; dawn bathed them in a golden light. The three of them were smiling, their eyes kind, a look that kissed his wretched soul and brought him peace. He wanted to reach for them, apologize for his failure in protecting them.... but they shook their heads. His wife pursed her lips, told him to hush with forgiving, understanding eyes. He stared, tear-struck eyes and lips quivering, leaning forward as though he'd be given the means to run to them. He nodded, managed a smile for them as the music died and they turned, vanished into the night sky.
He whispered 'I love you' and the dream that was Serenity's song ended. He smiled, wiped his cheeks and looked to the fire, stoked it again. His nose ran still, his tears were salty but he laughed one last time. His smile was warm, somehow, the song of Serenity has brought him closure, let him let go of the guilt and torment he had carried since their deaths. Vengeance, the all consuming, burning hatred that he had for Verick was for once extinguished and not so much as a whisper in his mind.
Grayell looked over to the shelter that Serenity slumbered in. He then looked to the woods, his fingers stroking the fang that he wore about his neck. He whispered to the spirits of the woods, to his brother Tanto that they brought her such sweet dreams. She would not know it and he would not endeavor to explain, but he owed her. He owed her more than he could hope to repay.
As the sun rose and the camp laid quiet, Grayell strapped his armor on tight, tied his boots and clambered up the rocky bank and into the trees. He could see Wistvale in the distance - he could be back before she awoke.
And he was, the smell of cooking meat and hot tea greeting her as she woke up, birdsong telling her it was daytime.
Liseth returning had confused things in his head and he was completely at odds with himself. Part of him wanted to throttle Liseth, yell at her and force her to apologize for breaking his heart, make her love him. He knew she did in her own strange way, but he was well aware it was a misguided love between them, one that could not end well. He wished all the change in the world for her, he hoped that she would see the world as a simpler and more beautiful place. He knew that if she could have just that, to find happiness within herself, then it would be more than enough if he was not a part of her life. He could not give her happiness whilst she was determined to kill Verick. She would not take it should he offer it. It saddened him, he remembered who she was and how pure a heart she had. He did not, could not know, but he hoped that she still had it inside her. That she too would grow and learn to be at peace.
And whilst he still cared for Liseth, whilst part of him would die for her without so much as a touch.... the newer part of him thought of Serenity. She was a lady unlike any other. A proper lady, one that should typically turn her nose at him and dismiss him as simple, but somehow she was worldly. She was learned and kind, intelligent and charming, and passionate... but also withdrawn. He had met what James had become, a cruel irony in his own world and a terrible curse upon hers - and with his own past with Liseth, it gave him perspective. He knew without doubt that she loved James still and that her heart would ache for what was taken from her. Given the chance he would soothe her wounds, dry her tears and guard her from the cruelness of reality, but he knew that she would not let him. Serenity sparked something within Grayell, made him want to be a better man, a kinder man, more gentile and noble. He would stand before against the world without question and where she to ever need him, he would give himself wholly without qualm. But he also knew, that with his own past coming back to him that he could not, would not be the man for her. He had to give himself entirely, without doubt or confusion - so whilst his heart beat to the thought of her, he could not betray her or himself and take that step, make that move whilst he still felt for another. It was not right and was less than Serenity deserved. He wanted her friendship and had told her as much and whilst they hadn't conveyed their emotions directly to one another, he wanted to. He could not though - because to utter the words that stopped short of headstrong love would wound him. Regardless of his pride and his sense of honor, he still wanted her to be his, to hear her ask that of him. He knew it was foolish.
The mind will wonder as it does and Grayell came to ponder who would choose should he be asked to. Both women, asking him to be wholly faithful, to dedicate himself to them alone.... and he hadn't the answer. He cursed Liseth's re-emergence, but doing so hurt him. He had wondered too long if she were ok, if she were well. What he had now learned came with a cost though - she was beautiful and fierce, as proud as ever... but vengeful.
He wanted to change. He had worked at it, labored to be a different person and to get away from his past. Ever hunted, it was not an easy thing to do - but meeting Serenity cast a light on his lonely soul that gave him hope. How he wanted her to speak such sweet words, how he ached to have her touch him as she had done so innocently, in jest... he wanted meaning. Affection.
He laughed, quietly and to himself. His body was shivering, lips quivering in the cold. He shook his head and sniffed, disregarded his sentimental ways. With so much confusion, he knew the only answer was to remain alone. He would be a true friend to Serenity but could not pursue more unless she asked it of him. Likewise, he would try to support Liseth and hope to see her give up on her hopeless quest. He would remain alone. He laughed again, hand rubbing his running nose as his mind drifted back to drunken nights spent at the tavern with loose women and no thought of consequence. My how times had changed.
It had been some time and he hoped Serenity slept well. He was dangerously cold now, but she should be warm in the small hut. He would have done far better to have his cloak... but battling the cold seemed unimportant when weighed against his concern for her well being.
And then her song began.
At first he smiled, surprised that she might sing herself to sleep; but as the wind brought the words to him, something else entirely came over him. Grayell sat up, dragged himself a little closer to the fire and looked to the stars. As it continued, it filled his head with imagery, of tales told for generations, of the beauty and hardships of his ancestors. It held him wide eyed, his hair blowing in the breeze, his body motionless as if entranced.
It was as though the stars themselves danced, spun in synchronicity with the song, the clouds drifting by as if signalling the next magical part of the song. Fond memories of his childhood floated before his eyes, hunting with his father, playing with his siblings and finally, of his mother. She would lay beside him, a hand errantly stroking hair from his face with a touch that brought him calm. His heart welled with love, he wished he could sleep so soundly, feel his mothers warm arms about him. Her kiss at his cheek, the entire, overwhelming peace that he would feel with her beside him.
He smiled as he recalled thoughts so long buried, but tears welled in his eyes and stained his cheeks. He sat, quietly crying; only hoping that one day when he died, perhaps one day soon; he would once again tell his mother he loved her.
As the song dwindled and began to die, the stars showed him one last dream. His wife stood there, his two children. A gentle breeze washed over them and a beautiful; dawn bathed them in a golden light. The three of them were smiling, their eyes kind, a look that kissed his wretched soul and brought him peace. He wanted to reach for them, apologize for his failure in protecting them.... but they shook their heads. His wife pursed her lips, told him to hush with forgiving, understanding eyes. He stared, tear-struck eyes and lips quivering, leaning forward as though he'd be given the means to run to them. He nodded, managed a smile for them as the music died and they turned, vanished into the night sky.
He whispered 'I love you' and the dream that was Serenity's song ended. He smiled, wiped his cheeks and looked to the fire, stoked it again. His nose ran still, his tears were salty but he laughed one last time. His smile was warm, somehow, the song of Serenity has brought him closure, let him let go of the guilt and torment he had carried since their deaths. Vengeance, the all consuming, burning hatred that he had for Verick was for once extinguished and not so much as a whisper in his mind.
Grayell looked over to the shelter that Serenity slumbered in. He then looked to the woods, his fingers stroking the fang that he wore about his neck. He whispered to the spirits of the woods, to his brother Tanto that they brought her such sweet dreams. She would not know it and he would not endeavor to explain, but he owed her. He owed her more than he could hope to repay.
As the sun rose and the camp laid quiet, Grayell strapped his armor on tight, tied his boots and clambered up the rocky bank and into the trees. He could see Wistvale in the distance - he could be back before she awoke.
And he was, the smell of cooking meat and hot tea greeting her as she woke up, birdsong telling her it was daytime.