Kiko uttered a quiet sound. She put her tea down without drinking it. She was not looking at him either. She was not sure she could talk if she saw his face or eyes.
...When I was ten years old I followed my brother outside one night. The moon was high in the sky. It was so very bright. It was late autumn much like it is now. I remember the air being crisp enough to sting the skin. The cold did not bother me, though, Katsurou had been regularly slipping out of the house for months.
Her voice faltered for several seconds at this point.
He did not know I had followed him. I made sure he couldn't see me. It was the first time I saw him change into the beast. I should have been terrified. I was terrified. But, part of me was angry.
Again, Kiko's voice cracked and her shoulders were pulled in tightly around her neck. She had not bothered with the tea, and she did not now. She was staring out past the mouth of the cave and into another world. There was a vast amount of loathing in her next few words.
I was angry.
Eternity
“Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.”
Grayell did not interrupt, there was little he could or should say at this point. No, instead he offered his undivided attention. When she looked past him, he simply drank more of his tea, pulled a fur about his shoulders. He breathed a warm, tea infused breath as his lips pulled from the cup and he only nodded. He knew anger intimately.
Kiko had started pulling her fingers through the wet strands of her hair. She methodically worked the snarls out starting at the top and moving consistently downward. Her voice when she picked up the tale again was swallowed up by sorrow.
I could never please them. My family. My voice was not powerful enough to sing as well as my mother. I did not have the diligence for study that my father wanted. And I was not the boy my grandfather thought could do no wrong...
Kiko's closest shoulder dropped lower. She was hiding behind her hair, a gesture she had not done since returning to Wistvale.
...I tried to sing. I tried to study. I even tried to be... well, a boy. Or as much like Katsurou as I could. I followed him around like a puppy. And now, here he was changing into MY legend. He never listened to the stories like I did. He was always too busy training.
Her voice was tight and hard, anger made a brief reappearance in it before going cold.
He took it from me that day. I know. Childish. I was completely jealous. It wasn't fair. But, I needed that legend to feel like I belonged. That I was part of the family. That I was not just a failure.
Kiko's hands left her hair, it was no longer snarled, or wet; the fire had soaked up the moisture.
...I knew when the killings started Katsurou was responsible. I said nothing. I had already left the village by that time, and the stories continued to spread. I was glad he was killing them. Can you imagine that? Glad.
Kiko's voice broke utterly at this point and silent tears ran down her face. Tears she did not wipe away or acknowledge.
Eternity
“Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.”
Yukiko was his chosen. He knew much of this already and none of it had upset him. He had faced her beast on her behalf and knew too well the torment and anguish she had endured as a child. He had hated them as she did, something that was strange to him but he had owned, acknowledged like a badge of honour for a time. Time changed all things though, she was so much more than that resentment and only ever more beautiful in his eyes.
Kiko recovered her voice. This was a good deal harder than she had expected. She had never spoken of it, not to anyone. Oh, she told him of the legend, she had made references to her brother before, and he knew her memories, but saying the stark words out loud...
...hurt. And that was such a plain way to describe how she felt.
Time passed. Time when I learned more about how to survive, listen, and watch. Time when I grew stronger and faster. Time while I waited for him to kill again. I told myself I could not stop it. But, Wolf... I did not want to stop it. I wanted, more than anything, to do what he was doing, to be what he was, and part of me hoped he would find me. Sometimes I caught glimpses of him but he never saw me.
Her voice had gone through several changes and was now back to sorrow.
Then my father's soldiers started vanishing with frequent regularity. Whatever he had been using to keep his predations to a minimum was obviously failing. And... something changed. I had to stop him. I was physically sick for days thinking of the people I had let die and for such worthless petty reasons. Yes. They had hurt me. Yes. I had wanted to hurt them. Yes. I had been angry at Katsurou and my family. But, the soldiers had only ever been generous with their time and knowledge...
...I could not let him kill them. I'd been a coward... I ran away... I... had... no honor. I went home. Only to find out Katsurou was missing. And... and... I went out to find him.
Eternity
“Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.”
Grayell watched her with mournful eyes, he did not like to see her in such pain but never would he seek to stop her expressing it. They both knew much pain and it was understood that they were both there for each other - no questions, no conditions.
But she was neglecting herself against the cold. He shifted to sit behind her then and both his legs and arms came about her sides. He pulled the large fur with his hands, scooped her into it's warmth and hugged her to his chest, his chin leaning on her shoulder.
Kiko recognized the touch when his arms and legs came around her. His body warmth spread up her spine, and for those first few seconds she almost pulled away. She did not deserve to be warm. Now she was fighting remembered apathy as well as sorrow. She did not know which emotion was worse, either. The combination was definitely crippling. She had been trapped on a ship for weeks with both, and most of that time was spent trying not to throw herself overboard. If she could have summoned up the energy she might be laying on the ocean floor now.
She paid no attention to the fur. Her voice was dull and monotonous.
I found him.
Kiko shivered but she was not cold, at least not physically.
He was a monster. My brother. He could barely speak. It might have been painful, I had no chance to ask him.
Her voice broke again, a low sob hitching through her chest to excape from her lips.
...I had been too late. There was a stack of my father's soldiers as high as a man. All of them were dead, of course. He had torn through a whole company.
Kiko went dead silent. Time ground to a halt. She had no idea how many minutes, hours, or days had passed.
He said my name. And even though I had seen him change into the beast? Even though I knew it was him, and was hoping I was wrong. Then he... he... said my name. I couldn't do a thing to change what had happened, Chosen. For all the time I had spent studying to be a warrior I was helpless. He could have killed me as easy as he had the rest. I was paralyzed, and I had been so sure back in town that I could find him and stop him. And then he... he asked me to k... kill him.
Kiko turned into the Wolf's arms searching for understanding, comfort, shelter, and his strength. She had all of those things already. She knew that. He would not be here otherwise. But, now; in the moment, she needed to hear the words. To hear his voice tell her that she was not a monster, that what she had done was not unforgivable - but above all of that she wanted to offer him her words, her voice, and her story. She did not know all his demons; not yet, but they had time, and she was not frightened by the storm.