Heya.

[Legault]

It's great to hear from you Hex! I remember reading your threads and Chatbox messages back in the day. I also remember being sad when you left ((I'm very much a peacemaker and was in college to become a teacher, so I was never bothered by anything you did/said)), but I'm glad to know you found other communities and continued to grow and mature. Thank you for dropping by to reconnect.

That's a powerful story, and one full of hope as well. I don't know how popular forum roleplay is these days, but its existence was a literal lifesaver for so many people in the 2000s-2010s. My wife's story is very similar to yours in many ways. Her life was saved through a Naruto PbP roleplay site. She ended up making friends there who are still friends with her (now 30) to this day. Five of her PbP friends, plus one of mine, came to our wedding! My wife and I have both talked about how much we miss forum roleplay. She can't do TTRPGs easily because of auditory processing issues and the amount of focus required, but forum RPGs are incredibly accessible.

I hope forum roleplay makes a resurgence soon (if it has died down like I think it has).

[Grayell]

Aug 2, 2023 18:29:51 GMT -5 Hex said:

Wow. I am just in awe.

Hi everyone. Nestor here, aka Hex. It's been over 10 years since I was last on here, although plenty of times it's crossed my mind. I wasn't around for very long, but this place holds such vivid memories for me. I'm 28 now, and was 16-17 when I was on here. I'm... a bit speechless to say the least. I have a wave of emotions coming over me from a really, really dark time in my life. If it's alright, I want to share a bit about my story about why The Menagerie was so impactful during my short stay.

When I was in 11th grade, my parents found out I was queer. They took me out of school, and for a whole 6 hours I was lectured, berated, screamed at, you name it. To spare some of the more triggering details, I was in an extremely dark place in my life. I was already a loner at school, and now my home was a source of anxiety, fear, and isolation. I was holed up in my room whenever I could. My phone was taken away from me. I couldn't even talk to the few people who did talk to me at school. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be anywhere anymore. Instead of taking me to a therapist, my parents instead let me have my laptop so I could still do school work. Back then, I had to be extremely sneaky when chatting with people online, so I instead turned to forums.

To say that this site saved my life is an understatement.

I wasn't around for too long if I remember, but the fact that there was a community of people who were willing to chat, roleplay, and just... tolerate a teen like me really opened up my eyes to finding ways to create a support system for myself. I actually had something I looked forward to at the end of the school day. I was... still not okay, but at least I was able to connect with people. People who didn't scream and yell at me for being me. People who didn't want me gone. The Menagerie was one of many sites that I frequented for a time while trying to find myself and that gave me a reason to try and hold out for one more day. I learned a lot... about myself, about how to connect with people, about being creative. Sadly, due to the above circumstances plus some additional immaturity on my end, I eventually left, but that didn't stop me from trying to find community. I found it in many other places that are now graveyard sites... so seeing this pop up in my old email really tugs at my heartstrings for that little boy.

Fast forward to present day, I am now post-grad in my dream job doing work I love. I am constantly on edge, because I remember how close I was to falling and never getting back up, but I have people who I can turn to for support. I am in love and feel safe for the first time in my life, although I am constantly carrying a weight that I am unsure will ever be lifted. I am mending my relationship with my parents, who I can never see the same again, but I am too much of an optimist to give up on them like they did to me. I also am an avid board game and TTRPG enjoyer, and I am even working on my own TTRPG system that I hope can be published one day. And, I can 100% say that a lot of my love for roleplay and the community it brings can be attributed to The Menagerie. This place saved me when I was just about to give up. You all saved me. Just your mere presence was enough to save me. And for that, I am forever grateful for everyone I interacted with before and that came after me. And for that, I can't thank everyone enough.

Thank you for those who took the time to read a little bit about what this place means to me. I'm still reading and processing everyone's story and how they've been... It'll be nice to get to connect again.

Hey Hex. Thankyou for being brave and vulnerable enought to share with us.

I don't think this is the place for me to address my own battles with 'self -deletion' (I think using other, maybe less starkly confronting terms can sometimes make this topic an easier read, maybe not) but I want to say that I've been there more than once. My last struggles were after the age of the Menagerie and I learned the hard way about some of the uglier truths about the capacity for people to harm and manipulate.

And whilst I'm still largely a loner and struggle making and maintaining rl friendships, I have also learned so much since then about other people's capacity to care and give and love, even when they themselves struggle. The world is getting darker and more and more people are in pain - but I can promise you that there is always somewhere safe. People that care. Places that you belong.

Love is a many faceted thing one a kaleidescope spectrum and I know that you and each other person struggling, is loved. You have something you bring to the world in your own unique way and that's wonderful - and even then, it's not a prerequisite for you to be loved. In being part of other worlds, you've done the very same thing for others - you have undoubtedly saved another persons life, you've been part of the solution. The remedy. Their fond memories. Thank you for that.

As I said in the chat, you were welcome here. I was the worst of all of us - I spent too much time worrying about rules and structure, spent too much time to have a healthy perspective and likely cost us more members than anyone. Ironic would be a kind word for it.

I want you and everyone to know that I am genuinely sorry if I ever made you feel unwelcome, or like you were a burden, a pain or a nuisance. Just being here is enough to say that this is the place you belong.

[John Harding]

Gray, I can say with absolute certainty that I never felt unwelcome here. Sure, some of the systems we played in got a bit rules-y, but you and all the other members made it a fun, enjoyable space to get lost in and escape the real world.

[Neko]

Remember the DRAMA system? and Pets? And Classes? Equipment? I think we even had spells and maneuvers at some point...

It was alot at times, but it was also fun helping develop all that.

I never felt unwelcome. I felt out of place briefly when I rejoined, but that was more me needing to adjust to things having moved on in my absence than anything else. In hindsight, I should have started fresh with all new characters, but at the time I wasn't done with Neko yet.

There were times as an admin that I felt frustrated, but I think that comes with anything that involves working with other people over any length of time. Overall, we balanced each other well and were able to do great things.